 01737 771350
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East Surrey Domestic Abuse Services
Safety Planning
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SAFETY TIPS FOR THOSE LIVING IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. YOU CAN:
- Move to a safer room if you anticipate violence - avoid the
kitchen or bathroom where there may be items that can be used
as weapons and hard surfaces.
- Plan an escape route from every room in the house.
- Put handbag/keys/money in a safe accessible place so that they
can be grabbed in a hurry.
- Let friends/neighbours that you trust, know about your situation
and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises.
- Teach your children, if and when appropriate to call for help.
They should NEVER use a phone in front of the abuser as this may
endanger them further.
- Talk to children about what is happening and encourage them
to call for help and NOT to intervene.
- Create "code words" for friends and children so that they know
when to call for help and/or leave danger areas.
- Plan where to go in an emergency and have an alternative route.
- Use your judgement of the abuser to protect you and your children.
You are in no way colluding with the abuser if you give him what
he wants in order to protect yourself.
- Keep or learn a list of important phone numbers e.g. Police
Domestic Violence Unit, Outreach Worker, Solicitor, Doctor, School
etc. In an emergency dial 999.
YOU MAY ALSO BE ABLE TO DO SOME OF THE FOLLOWING:
- Keep a record of his violence and controlling behaviour to support
any future action, civil or criminal. Log incidents with the police
even if you do not wish to press charges at present.
- Increase your financial independence by: opening a separate
bank account/ transferring your money (including benefits) into
your name.
- Seek legal advice (some solicitors offer an initial free appointment).
- Keep important documents in a safe place, either hidden in the
home or at a friends or relatives house (e.g. birth/marriage certificates,
national insurance card, passport, driving licence etc. You may
also want to hide items that have a sentimental value to your
or your children.
SAFETY PLANNING FOR LEAVING
You may not feel able to leave immediately,
but you can plan for leaving so that you are prepared if an emergency
does arise. Leaving is often the most dangerous time.
To increase your safety you can:
- Ensure that all important documents are kept together, including
items of sentimental value, so they can be grabbed in a hurry.
- Put aside money for travel and other expenses
- Only tell people you trust where you are or will be. Lie if
you have to - this will protect them and you.
THINGS TO TAKE WITH YOU
- ID - Passport, birth/marriage certificate, NI number, driving
licence etc
- Money - cheque book, bank cards, credit cards, benefit books
etc.
- Medical - prescribed medicines, prescriptions, medical cards,
vaccination certificates
- Legal - injunction/divorce papers, mortgage documents
- Special Items - childs favourite toy, photos, jewellery etc.
SAFETY ONCE A RELATIONSHIP HAS ENDED
Unfortunately, abuse may not end even when your partner has left the shared home. In order
to increase your safety you can:
- Let trusted friends and neighbours know that you are no longer
together and that they should call the police if they see your partner
trying to get into the house.
- Change the locks on your doors, ensure that doors and windows
are as secure as possible and use the chain when answering the
door.
- More expensive options are to install security lighting which
switches on when someone approaches, and burglar alarms.
- Tell people who look after your children e.g. teachers, which
people have permission to collect them and that your ex-partner
is not permitted to do so.
- Change your phone number and at work ask people to screen your
calls.
- Change your shopping/travel/social habits e.g. shop elsewhere
at different times, take a different route home.
If you feel threatened at any time, please call 999 |
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